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Family Guy: Watch Season 13 Episode 3 Online

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Let's start by handing it to Family Guy Season 13 Episode 3 for coming up with one of the most creative titles we'll see on television this year.

The latest installment of this animated Fox favorite was called "Baking Bad." That's simple genius.

As for the reason why? Well... Lois and Peter decided to go into business together by opening a cookie store. Simple enough, right? Not quite.

Things got messy and also very complicated when Peter came up with his own way to get more customers. What did it entail?

You could take a wild guess. Or you could watch Family Guy online right here and now:


Family Guy Season 13 Episode 4 Review: Brian the Closer

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On Family Guy Season 13 Episode 4, Brian becomes the closer he was born to be. 

The episode starts out strong with Peter's initial obsession over Brian's rope chew toy offering many laughs. From his devolution into Gollum, to his upgrade into Johnny Five, Peter tries everything to get the rope (and some ice cream, of course ). It leads to Lois asking this very important question: 

You didn't go to work today, did you?

Lois

It only gets better as Peter ties his own piece of rope to Brian's rope, and drives off, promising Brian that no one needs to get hurt. Well, except for one person: 

Just let go of the rope, nobody has to get hurt Brian! Only one person has to get hurt Brian.

Peter

This first scene establishes Brian's need for cosmetic surgery, as Peter's pursuit of the rope ends with Brian getting his face pummeled by a fire hydrant.

What follows is admittedly pretty great. The "clears eyes, giant teeth, can't lose" Friday Night Lights reference, the flirtatious Starbucks barista, and the birds smiling back at Brian are all a result of his brand new smile fit for a real estate agent - literally. 

He stumbles upon this new career, and embraces the life of a chiseled smile-having salesman. His first few sales do seem a bit sketchy, but he gets the job done regardless.

Brian's smooth talking gets him pretty far in the business, but before long it's time to land Quagmire for a crappy condo so that he can become a partner. 

Brian tracks down Quagmire at his gym, and puts Heisenberg levels of manipulation to work (side note: damn, Quagmire's you-know-what can curl more than I can!).

Partly due to Peter's own excitement over the property's projected image, Quagmire caves and buys the condo.

The ceiling is a pool! The ceiling is a pool! Quagmire you gotta get this!

Peter

The gang, heading to Quagmire's newly purchased property for the first time with a car jam-packed with kegs, seem ecstatic. And Peter hatches a plan to meet the ladies:

Peter: Now Quagmire, when you introduce us to the ladies by the pool, I'm a millionaire, Joe's a war hero, and Quagmire's Magic Johnson.
Cleveland: I own a lot of theaters, I hope you don't know much else about me.

For once, Quagmire was pretty much in the right and it was Brian's slimy real estate tactics that were going unchecked. 

When you were poor, you were always a douche, but at least you came by it honestly. But now, screwing over the people that helped you! I don't know how you sleep at night!

Quagmire

Despite being a mainly Brian-centric episode, there were a lot of one-off jokes that landed this weak. From the return of the beaver, who Peter claims they use "just the right amount," to this little gem of an interaction between Cleveland and Quagmire:

Cleveland: It's sad when planes 'splode.
Quagmire: What? Yeah I guess.

With many of the great jokes coming from on the nose one-liners, feel free to visit the Family Guy quotes page in order to recap the high points of "Brian the Closer." Unlike, some weeks, the minimal use of characters like Stewie and Meg worked perfectly and gave us a handful of laugh out loud moments.

In the end, Brian's own cleverness and weird knack for manipulation got his face hilariously bashed in once again.  

Even though I know you never liked me, you still helped me when I really needed it. That says a lot about your character. I'm ashamed of myself, because I am none of the things you are. You're honest, and direct, and compassionate, aaaaand that's 72 hours! Enjoy your crap-hole dumbass!

Brian

Watch Family Guy online to follow Brian's descent into the "safety-net" career of real estate, and witness the consequences of messing with Quagmire. 

Damon and Stefan Salvatore
The Vampire Diaries is a love story, it's true. But it's really a love story between Damon and Stefan Salvatore.

Family Guy: Watch Season 13 Episode 4 Online

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After taking another Sunday off last week, Family Guy returned to the Fox lineup this week.

In hilarious fashion.

Following an installment that made Lois and Peter into cookie store owners, Family Guy Season 13 Episode 4 found Brian getting plastic surgery.

This new look led him down a new career path as a real estate agent, while also getting him into major trouble with Quagmire.

How so and for what reason? And what were the best Family Guy quotes of the week? Find out via the above video.

Follow its prompts and watch Family Guy online via TV Fanatic right now!

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 5 Review: Turkey Guys

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The Griffin family Thanksgiving was really off the rails when Lois found out that Peter and Brian, in an intoxicated state, ate the holiday turkey. 

Well last night me and Brian got drunk and ate the turkey, but before you get mad we also ate the salad.

Peter

Meanwhile, in Family Guy Season 13 Episode 5 Chris also decides, with the help of Stewie, that it is up to him to become the host, and represent the family for Thanksgiving. 

Despite, these two lines of story, this episode was mostly about Brian and Peter on a journey to save the Thanksgiving holiday and make sure that the white people in sweaters had something to eat. 

This turns out to be a real mission as all turkeys in the immediate vicinity of Quahog are sold out, or being freed. 

After Peter and Brian do manage to buy a turkey things go very awry for them, starting with a common misconception about a Prius, concerning whether the car was on or not. I admit this embarrassingly, but this same thing happened to me once, although I didn't drive it into a lake. 

The holiday madness of shopping for that last minute turkey on Thanksgiving took the form of an angry suburban man with a gun, and it shortly came out that Peter framed Brian for his involvement of the turkey eating scandal. 

Hi there folks! Hand over the turkey!

As it became clear that Brian and Peter were not going to make it home in time with the turkey, the Griffins at home were getting desperate from entertaining hungry family for so long. 

Well the fat man is never going to get back in time, and with him gone that makes you the man of the house.

Stewie

My favorite parts were the skit of the first snoopy dance gone wrong, followed by the reference to Madonna, which you can find in the Family Guy Quotes. The fountain of youth was far away from the live Madonna concert. The turkey chase scene was pretty good too! 

Watching felt like a good passage of time for me. It wasn't the best Family Guy, but certainly not the worst. Again, there was minimal use of the other characters, but focusing on the friendship between Brian and Peter is always worth that sacrifice. I also liked that everyone gathers at the Griffin house for Thanksgiving! 

Four years later me and Lois divorced and Stewie died. Gobble gobble.

Peter

Watch Family Guy online to follow Brian and Peter on their quest to replace the Thanksgiving turkey, that was devoured a night early in a drunken stupor. Hit the comments below to sound off on what you thought of the episode! 

The Pritchetts and the Dunphys - Modern Family
This might seem like a unique take on the modern family, but you'll discover it was a long-term collaborative effort that paved the way for this success. That doesn't mean we're not treated to one of the funniest, most genuine extended families ever to grace the airwaves.

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 5: Full Episode Live!

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Thanksgiving came a few days early on Fox Sunday evening, courtesy of Family Guy Season 13 Episode 5.

What went down on this animated sitcom?

It was Thanksgiving eve and a drunken and ravenous Peter and Brian scarfed down the holiday turkey. Oops! How did they rectify this situation?

Dog and owner had to subsequently go on hunt to find a replacement bird for the family's big meal the following day.

With Peter gone, Chris decided to step up and take over as man of the house. You can imagine how that went, right?

Actually, you don't need to imagine. Just watch Family Guy online via the video above.

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 6 Review: The 2000 Year Old Virgin

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On Family Guy Season 13 Episode 6, Jesus takes the archetype of Steve Carell's 40-year old virgin to a whole new level (which is even more ironic if you consider Carell's role in Evan Almighty). 

After some time apart, Peter and Jesus finally reunite as Peter contemplates buying a vibrating massage chair at Brookstone. Peter was initially taken aback when Jesus revealed his modest plans for Christmas:

Peter: Oh look Jesus, you shouldn't be alone during Christmas. And if I remember correctly, isn't your birthday sometime soon too?
Jesus: Ah whatever, I'm fine. I'll probably just reheat some ramen and watch Grey's Anatomy.

His interest in offering his old pal Jesus some company for the holidays probably came from a innocent place of compassion, as per the norm for Peter Griffin. The same is probably true for the proceeding birthday party he throws for the son of God, and his following attempts at getting the man laid. His intentions are always good, but more often than not, Peter comes on a little too strong.

Jesus's charade was too transparent and quickly dismantled by Quagmire. 

Jesus: Uh hot ladies. Horny ones. Who, uh, sex on you.
Quagmire: What?
Jesus: Yeah, you know, they come back to your house and sit on your butt.

The gang offered to help Jesus finally get laid, with Peter taking the charge. Jesus's first attempt at speed dating was messy. The series of events surrounding the experiment were composed as a hilarious rapid fire of one-liners that got Jesus immediate buzzers from the women he was talking to. Amongst the stretch of one-liners, was this gem:

Are you okay with someone who wanders the desert lecturing people on how to act?

Jesus

Lois offers a counterpoint to Peter's assertion of masculinity and faux sexual prowess, by preaching sage-like advice about the complexities of intimacy. She warns Peter that Jesus may not want a one night stand, but Peter's woeful ignorance is too dense. 

Her advice and personality make it easy for Jesus to fall for her, and when he warms up to Lois, he decides to ask Peter for permission to sleep with his wife. He finally gets the go ahead after he offers Peter chance to ask for anything in the universe.

I can't be the only one that thinks Peter might have wasted this wish:

Peter: Like, anything in the universe?
Jesus: Anything.
Peter: Brookstone massage chair.
Jesus: Are you sure?
Peter: Never been more sure about anything in my life.

Peter's mid-episode plea to the "millions" of offended Christians to write to the Family Television Counsel was great in it's self-awareness. Seth McFarlene's been known to state that religious topics on the show get the most flack. Peter's tangent to get rid of any evidence of underage porn on his laptop was also amusing, as well as being pretty controversial content-wise. 

Peter Griffin manages to salvages his marriage through a last minute guilt trip and change of heart, which was fueled by the revelation that Jesus is simply a con man screwing housewives yearly. His epic toboggan expedition to Jesus' house was heroic, until he ran out of hill.

Fortunately, Lois cared for her marriage too much to go through with the experience. In the end, Lois might believe that Jesus's scam was simply a divine test, but I have to commend the man for his conviction. 

The few moments with the rest of the family were humorous as well, with this standout interaction between Stewie and Brain:

Stewie: Boy this must be killing you. You're an atheist, and the one guy you don't believe in is getting to bang the woman of your dreams.
Brain: I don't have to take this! I'm out of here. Can you let me out?

Tonight episode was entertaining, and timely, with McFarlene & co. looking to stir up some innocent trouble within certain religious communities in time for the holidays. Watch Family Guy online and head to the Family Guy quotes  page to relive any of your favorite moments from tonight episode - featuring the supposed 2,000 year old virgin, Jesus Christ.

The Pritchetts and the Dunphys - Modern Family
This might seem like a unique take on the modern family, but you'll discover it was a long-term collaborative effort that paved the way for this success. That doesn't mean we're not treated to one of the funniest, most genuine extended families ever to grace the airwaves.

Family Guy: Watch Season 13 Episode 6 Online

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Family Guy bid farewell to 2014 with a strong installment on Sunday evening.

On Family Guy Season 13 Episode 6, following a run-in with at the mall and discovering that he’s still a virgin, Peter sought out the assistance of Quagmire and Cleveland to help the Son of God become a man.

Yes, you read all of those sentences correctly.

Peter helped Jesus Christ have sex on this episode of Family Guy.

Come on now. You can't tell us you don't wanna watch Family Guy online as a result reading that brief synopsis alone. Go ahead and do so via the following video:

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 7 Review: Stewie, Chris & Brian's Excellent Adventure

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In its latter seasons, Family Guy has either shown a noticeable decline in strengthening their core characters or confirmed our suspicions that it never had that interest to begin with.

Peter's an entirely different animal depending on the needs of the plot every week and Meg and Chris haven't really developed past their respective roles as family punching bag and dimwit.

That's relatively OK for a show that's heavily influenced by The Simpsons, in which the characters haven't grown in 20 years. 

The only exception within the Griffin household is the Brian and Stewie relationship, which has come a long way. I suspect even the haters of Family Guy (and yes, there are quite a few out there) would have a higher opinion of a show solely about Stewie and Brian. I'm not in the camp that the show has no merit outside of Brian and Stewie, but these two are on another plain entirely. With that being said, it's a pretty easy sell for me whenever we have these two characters and a time machine, to boot.  

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 7 throws Chris into the mix, which is an interesting contrast. The Stewie/Chris history isn't particularly extensive, but there have been traces of warmth between the two. More importantly, a Chris-centric plot has more potential if he's thrown into a storyline with Brian and Stewie. 

Family Guy is less of a three-arc structure than a zig-zag laced with misdirection. With commercials, the superfluous plots and the cutaways, there isn't much meat left for the plot in that half-hour time span. 

The second act consists of a rapid-fire time travel sequence which is clearly an excuse to package up and deliver some leftover cutaway jokes set in the days of yore.

They travel from Jefferson's White House as he announces the Louisiana Purchase, to Jane Austen's parlor so they can unload some farts, to Washington crossing the Delaware so they can learn that he's terrified of water; no sequence lasts longer than the time required to set up a punch line. It rushes by pretty fast (and is Hell on a reviewer trying to write a coherent recap).

Brian: Excuse me Mr. Hemingway. Can I have a beer with you?
Ernest Hemingway: Sure, I love life and all the people in it.
Brian: Thanks and, as a fellow writer, I'd love to talk to you about your craft God if only we can get rid of these damn arms and attach the pen directly to the heart.....
[Hemingway shoots himself]

I'd argue that the second act would have been better served if they lessened the number of jumps. At the same time, I can't deny the laughs were there.

Come on guys. We're getting Oklahoma, Wyoming, Arkansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Kansas, North Dakota, South Dakota and Louisiana. What are the chances all those states suck?

Thomas Jefferson

In the third act, the show turns into a Titanic farce which is a real treat for me as I recently went through a Titanic learning binge. For instance, when Stewie said that only the rich survived the Titanic, I remembered offhand that more third-class passengers survived the Titanic than second-class passengers and I knew the best chance for Stewie, Brian and Chris to survive in this hypothetical situation would have been to board the one of first two lifeboats. Few people took the threat seriously at the time and those two boats were far below capacity. Aren't you lucky I got assigned Family Guy tonight?

I'm sure most people know the Titanic didn't hit the iceberg on the first night. It's not really about historical accuracy, but having some fun with the historic setting and because of time constraints, there's not enough time to do too much with it except having the gang fight over lifeboat space. It's worth noting the Family Guy crew must have taken their cues directly from the James Cameron film as the zoom shoot of the deck is pretty homage-like.

On the whole, the episode felt kind of rushed, even by Family Guy standards. Still, the episode wasn't really about any one of the time jumps or the Titanic. It was a Chris/Stewie episode and that "awwww" moment at the end more or less worked. There was a nice twist (to save Chris from flunking), plenty of laughs and Brian/Stewie/time machine plots are pretty much always a win. 

What do you think of the Brian/Stewie pairing verse the rest of the characters on the show? Do these two make the show for you as well and do you think the show has to develop the other characters in the Griffin clan to keep pace? What was your favorite historic joke?

Don't forget you can watch Family Guy online right here at TV Fanatic.

The Pritchetts and the Dunphys - Modern Family
This might seem like a unique take on the modern family, but you'll discover it was a long-term collaborative effort that paved the way for this success. That doesn't mean we're not treated to one of the funniest, most genuine extended families ever to grace the airwaves.

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 8 will be titled "Our Idiot Brian" and air on January 11.


Family Guy: Watch Season 13 Episode 7 Online

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Happy 2015, everyone! Family Guy is back! 

Following a lengthy holiday hiatus, this animated smash returned with Family Guy Season 13 Episode 7, an installment titled "Stewie, Chris & Brian's Excellent Adventure."

It featured Stewie and Brian aiming to help Chris ace his ninth grade history class... by employing the time travel machine for educational purposes.

But the move didn't exactly go off wit a hitch, as all three got stuck in the past as a result of it. How did they find their way back? Heck, did they find their way back?

Follow the prompts of the video featured below to watch Family Guy online and find out.

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 8 Review: Our Idiot Brian

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On Family Guy Season 13 Episode 8, Stewie tires to save Brian from a brain tumor, but maybe Brian's better off down at Peter's level. They did have a great montage together.

Tonight's started off as a Meg-centered installment, and I could already feel myself getting bored post-credits.

However, one of the best moments came right near end of the first act, when a random towns person made an astute comment.

 

Oh thank god Brian's getting a book published. I thought this was going to be a Meg episode.

Townsperson

That was almost exactly what I was thinking – not that a Meg-centric episode would've been bad, but a Brian-centric one is usually more likely to deliver. Not to mention that this ended up being more about Brian and Stewie. Jackpot!

The running gag of completely clowning on Meg reached new heights on "Our Idiot Brian," when Brian was able to pass of as Meg by just wearing glasses and a pinkish/purple beanie to school. Brian even got to piss on the lockers to mark his territory, because apparently that's the kind of girl Megan is on a daily basis: poor Meg.

Mila Kunis does a great job at being the punch-line punching bag for this show. 

Stewie's quips during Meg's attempt at sweet talking Brian into taking the test for her were also hilarious.

That's page one, she's quoting page one.

Stewie

And the little guy just kept the funny coming.

She hasn't read your book Bri - that's your main character.

Stewie

Short gags such as this one are always rewarding, and often times more memorable than the more tangential ones. For example, this joke was followed by the one about the British police, and, despite being written well enough, it wasn't as entertaining. 

The Peter-ification of Brian wasn't exactly pretty, but it was full of comedy. And Peter and Brian seemed like they became pretty good friends, to be honest:

Brian: Bazinga!
Peter: Haha, like what the guy scientist says. Brian, say something else from TV!
Brian: Watchu talkin bout Willis!?

However, Stewie couldn't put up with Brian's increasing stupidity. He can't put up with his "superficial quasi knowledge" either, but he'd definitely rather have his old friend back, with all his flaws. 

When Stewie finally comes up with a solution, it's actually a lot simpler than he imagines. The streak continues its self-referential one liners this week, with:

Stewie: I've been approaching this far too intelligently. He's an idiot, so this shouldn't be hard at all! Hey Brian, you want to go see Doctor Hartman and get that procedure where you get two weiners?
Brian: Whoa, hell yeah! That way when I watch Black Swan, I can aim one at that Natalie Portman, and aim the other one at -
Stewie: Yes, yes, yes, we all know who the other one was.

Although the idea of Stewie rescuing the old Brian from the brain tumor seems genuine and heartfelt, you can't help but agree with part of Brian's final assessment:

Brian: I mean I was having fun, making new friends, getting laid all the time, sleeping like a rock - but you made the call. You unilaterally decided I was better off a bitter alcoholic failure who could only hang out with a baby.
Stewie: Hey! We have fun.

Stewie's "hey, we have fun," definitely cracked me up though.

With a handful of one-off jokes that hit very well, and an engaging premise (made even better by switching out Meg for Brian as the protagonist), "Our Idiot Brian" was an entertaining half-hour. 

Watch Family Guy online to see the fall of Brian all over again, and hit up our Family Guy quotes page to catch some more one-liners (including the various TV references pointed out by Peter and made by "brain tumor Brian"). 

NOTE: Family Guy Season 13 Episode 9 will be titled "This Little Piggy" and air on January 25.

The Pritchetts and the Dunphys - Modern Family
This might seem like a unique take on the modern family, but you'll discover it was a long-term collaborative effort that paved the way for this success. That doesn't mean we're not treated to one of the funniest, most genuine extended families ever to grace the airwaves.

Family Guy: Watch Season 13 Episode 8 Online

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So, what made us laugh and what made us cringe on Family Guy Season 13 Episode 8?

The latest installment of this animated smash, titled "Our Idiot Brian," found Meg convincing her dog to take the SATs for her.

However, Brian proceeded to test very poorly, which led the family to suspect that he may not be as intelligent as previously presumed.

Therefore, Peter decided to spend the day showing Brian the joys of being stupid and the benefits of having a low IQ. You can imagine what those included, can't you?

Or you can not imagine: you can go ahead and watch Family Guy online to see for yourself!

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 9 Review: This Little Piggy

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There was a body count on Family Guy Season 13 Episode 9 thanks to Stewie and Brian, but somehow Meg's confrontation with Peter and Lois served as a bigger payoff. 

Good for you, Meg. 

At long last, Meg got some sort of validation from her parents. The main takeaway from tonight's episode seems to be that too much degradation can lead one to porn -- even if it's just foot fetishes. I think seeing their daughter driven to such great lengths in order to be celebrated and appreciated was a wake up call. Maybe more so for Lois than Peter, but they both felt remorseful nonetheless. 

You shouldn't have to do porn to feel appreciated.

Lois

When Meg first brought it up, Peter couldn't even conceal his disbelief for a moment. In fact, he goes as far as to take inspiration from Van Gogh and sever his ears.

Lois, please send these back to the factory, I believe they're defective.

Peter

Lois joined in the fun as well, which only drove Meg further into the arms of Evan -- the slick-talking photographer who was able to convince her she was superstar, an overnight foot-fetish sensation.

One of the funniest moments was actually when he tried to twist her words around and repackage the opportunity of being a foot model so that Meg would agree to continue. It's porn, he says, it's "erotica:"

I know Meg, that's why I'm going to confuse you by calling it 'Erotica.'

Evan

Stewie's graduation through the many tiers of his preschool (now onto purple) got to him and he recruited Brian to help him live out his wildest dreams. Being who they are, they wound up on drugs at a music festival, about to have a threesome with a chick who liked to "bleed from her nose."

Of course she overdosed on them, and their little outing ended with them having an impromptu funeral for the girl. 

Wait, hold on Brian, everyone deserves a proper funeral. Why do you think we're saving that VCR box in the basement?

Stewie

Stewie and Brian had a couple of great scenes, including the former singing on the bus along with the Choir, and the latter telling girls they meet that "Stewie has aids."

Although Lois and Peter finally apologized and gave Meg some confidence and self-esteem, Peter low-key also revealed the true sex of his "daughter." Oh that's right, according father of the year, Peter, he could remember Meg being born "like it was just yesterday:"

Peter: It feels like just yesterday, she was born!
Doctor: You want to cut the cord?
Peter: Yeah, sure!
Doctoer: Okay that wasn't the cord, and now you've got a girl.

So Meg was initially a guy, huh? Makes sense.

There were a handful of great scenes from tonight's episode, but a few stagnant and dull ones as well. The ones that hit the least always seem to drag on the longest.

However, you can still check out Family Guy quotes for the best skits. You can also watch Family Guy online for any moments you may have missed the first time around.

Feel free to comment on your favorite scenes down below, or touch on any funny moments I may have missed!

The Pritchetts and the Dunphys - Modern Family
This might seem like a unique take on the modern family, but you'll discover it was a long-term collaborative effort that paved the way for this success. That doesn't mean we're not treated to one of the funniest, most genuine extended families ever to grace the airwaves.

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 10 Review: Quagmire's Mom

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The wool was kind of pulled over my eyes for a bit on Family Guy Season 13 Episode 10. I actually believed Quagmire might learn a lesson for the first time, well, ever

But of course, that's too much to ask of a show that reveals in its ironic complacency. 

There were numerous enjoyable skits and notable jokes throughout the half-hour. The "Baba O'Riley" karaoke bit was a classic, elongated, Family Guy gag – and, although it didn't really pay-off in the end, it was pretty great. There were other small moments, or one-liners – such as Meg's excitement at a guy going upstairs to a private room with her – that were peppered in throughout the courtroom scandal.

Admittedly, the most humorous segments were actually the ones related to the topic at hand –Quagmire's reckoning. 

Random Party-Goer: You want to go upstairs?
Meg: Sure!
Random Party-Goer: Good. Go.

  • Permalink:
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Before Quagmire's mom, voiced by The West Wing's Allison Janney, went back on her newfound religion in order to save her son, Quagmire really did seem to be in some hot waters. He was even going around informing the neighborhood that he was a pedophile! Which, for all intents and purposes, he pretty much is. 

The episode played on the fact that the man really did deserve what seemed to be coming to him. Even if you've only been half paying attention, with the episodes on in the background as you scroll through tumblr, you know what kind of deviant Quagmire is. 

And it makes sense that his mom's the root of all things of a sexual nature. 

My misguided carnal instincts are the results of being raised by a sexual deviant.

Quagmire

As Quagmire's 20 years in the slammer was fast approaching, the rest of the gang didn't do much to support him. This wasn't Ed Norton in 25th Hour, and there were no final wishes granted. Instead, Joe accidently killed his cat, Peter threw his gold watch into a forest thinking it would boomerang back, and Cleveland all but suggested he deserved what he was getting. 

As Stewie and Peter put it, the jokes seemed to come easily on the topic of Quagmire and his mother. 

Don't think of it as 20 years -- think of it as two 10 year olds, you sick freak.

Peter

But hey, in the end, it's almost fitting that basically everyone turned on Quagmire as his time approached – this left room for his mom to sweep in, and make amends with her son in their own, perverted, and depraved manner. 

I don't know if Mamma Quagmire knows about her ex-husband's recent life changes (and I'm glad Stewie remembered to mention that), but, as for now, and as far as families are concerned, her and her son are a match made in a brothel in heaven. 

Watch Family Guy online to catch any moments you may have missed during tonight's entertaining episode, and head over to Family Guy quotes in order to recap other definite highlights. 

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 11 Review: Encyclopedia Griffin

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Family Guy Season 13 Episode 11 upped the weirdness factor a bit, just in time for Valentine's Day. Although, I don't know what's more romantic: Peter wearing a Katherine Heigl mask on his ass, or Chris serenading a doll made completely out of items he stole.

The episode's title is pretty misleading, as this half-hour is only barely about the "detective agency" Peter forms with his buddies. Their Nancy Drew clique, with Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe (who's already an officer of the law), only lasts for a few skits where Peter attacks a gumball machine, beats up a kid selling lemonade and, finally, discovers that his son has lost his mind. 

When they found "Heather," Cleveland's remark about Chris having a walk in closet was hilarious: 

Your kid's got a walk in closet?! Two of mine gotta sleep in the car!

Cleveland

It made too much sense that Chris was so insecure in himself, just like poor Meg, that he had to resort creating a girlfriend out of inanimate objects. It didn't help that Peter only encouraged the behavior when he decided that getting past second base (touching a cabbage) would be the only way to snap Chris out of his delusion.

Lois: I thought you said you'd take care of it!
Peter: I did. He slept with it, now he'll slowly grow to hate it for the next 20 years.

Stewie and Brian were merely onlookers for a majority of the episode, but they both saw the power plays being put into motion as Lois tries to get Peter to be a more respectful husband. She wanted him to take cues from their son.

It didn't take long for Lois to realize that Peter treats her worse than that "pile of garbage," and her jealously eventually drives her mad with violent rage. This was only fitting seeing as how her finally bonding with her son came in the form of Chris ripping out the baby made out of Skittles hidden inside Heather for him and his mom to eat on their way home.

Chris: It's made of skittles! You want to eat the baby together on the way home?
Lois: Yeah, I'd like that.

The episode had a funny enough premise, but wasn't too engaging aside from that. A few of the gags, such as the secret level in Donkey Kong, or the group trying to name their detective agency, didn't go over too well and genuinely hilarious moments were few and far between. A few moments went overboard and farther than I expected, so props to Seth MacFarlane for still being able to mildly surprise me. 

Watch Family Guy online to relive any of you favorite moments, and head over to Family Guy quotes for more highlights from Chris's sordid relationship with his sex doll, "Heather." 

Family Guy: Watch Season 13 Episode 11 Online

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Do the crime and you may do the time.

This was the theme of Family Guy Season 13 Episode 11.

The sitcom centered this week around Peter, Quagmire, Joe and Cleveland coming together to form a neighborhood detective agency, only to be shocked when they discover that Chris is a thief.

What has he been stealing? Watch Family Guy online to find out:

Elsewhere, Lois grew concerned about Chris’ delusional relationship with his new girlfriend, yet also viewed this as an opportunity for Peter to copy Chris’ romantic gestures.

In what sense? Click on the above video for the answer.


Renewed or Canceled: What's the Fate of Your Favorite Show?

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It's that time of the year again.

The time where television viewers around the nation wonder whether they'll be saying farewell to their favorite dramas or comedies for good come spring...

... or whether they'll be welcoming them back with open, excited arms in a few months.

From now until the network Upfronts in May, we'll be keeping you apprised of the fates of ... well... pretty much every single show on TV, as the following photo gallery will accompany an endless number of renewal and cancelation articles.

The statuses of these shows will be updated on a continual basis, but you can click around above and get an idea of where your most DVR-worthy programs stand.

Have they already received the axe? Have executives already passed along the news you've been dying to hear?

Find out now. Complain or cheer later.

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 12 Review: Stewie Is Enceinte

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Am I correct in assuming that tonight's half-hour features one of the most ridiculous premises for the show to date? 

Not only is that a feat in and of itself, it actually came with a few truly memorable scenes, and a sort of bonding moment for Brian and Stewie.

While Peter and the rest were pretty much a side-note this week (with Megan nowhere to be found), the baby and the dog got to have a crazy stint together as each other's respective baby mamma and baby daddy.

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 12 is a pretty twisted look a whole variety of pregnancy-related issues, and I can't figure out whether or not to be thrown off by it's blatant weirdness, or embrace the risk.

Tonight's entire episode is derived from the idea that Stewie felt neglected by his usual partner in crime – Brian. Their usually co-dependent relationship was easy enough to frame as romantic, with Stewie playing the role of the clingy ex-girlfriend.

Just as a baby should, Stewie picks from cues around him and realizes that the best way to trap a man is to have a baby with him.

This sets off the most odd sequence of events that climaxes in a bright – and explosive –scene that has Stewie inserting Brian's DNA in his body via belly-button. 

The only scene that was creepier/weirder was the parked-car pregnancy.

Brian save the placenta! Save it, I want to eat it.

Stewie

The mutant puppy-baby hybrids, each with their own unique ailments, eventually got donated to the animal shelter – which is probably for the best, considering that Stewie and Brian almost let one drown when it was in their care. 

It's hard to describe just how surreal the scenes at the doctor's office, or just initial inception in general, felt. This episode really toed the line with how tasteful it wanted to be.

I'm guessing, at this point in time, Seth MacFarlane really has nothing to shy away from.

You hit me! What kind of monster hits a pregnant toddler!

Stewie

The jokes were centered around various topics, such as abortion, or the "gold-digger" mentality of locking a man down for at least 18 years by having his baby, and had small jabs at everything from baby showers to mood swings. 

Peter and the gang were sort of an afterthought, but still provided a few laughs in their brief time on screen. 

Poor Cleveland didn't know what a penguin was (he thought it was a bug) and got called some pretty nasty comments on their first attempt at a viral video.

Jeez, that word looks a lot harsher when it's in all caps.

Quagmire

Watch Family Guy online to relive the unbelievable pregnancy with Stewie, and watch in awe and/or horror as the episode pushes the idea way past what's appropriate.

Visit Family Guy quotes for more highlights, and make sure to leave your thoughts down below!

Family Guy: Watch Season 13 Episode 12 Online

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Are you ready to laugh, TV Fanatics?!?

Good. Because Family Guy Season 13 Episode 12 brought the laughter in droves.

The latest installment of this genius FOX sitcom found Brian getting sick and tired of of hanging out with Stewie.

As a result, Stewie tried to save the relationship by having a baby, and maybe a few more even, using Brian's DNA for impregnation. Sounds simple and smart enough, right?

Meanwhile, Peter, Joe, Quagmire and Cleveland put their heads together in an attempt to make a viral video. Also sounds simple enough, right?

Go ahead and watch Family Guy online to see what transpired.

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 13 Review: Dr. C and the Women

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If all a therapist needs is a soothing voice, a few catch phrases, and some (okay, maybe a lot) of tweed, then Cleveland couldn't have been a better fit to become the neighborhood Dr. Phil.

Family Guy Season 13 Episode 13 has Cleveland throwing a wrench into Peter's relationship with Lois, all while Meg finally gets a break from the constant berating she faces when she joins her new job at the airport. 

Not only was Meg just a perfect fit for the "bored Fascism" model of the airport (where creating slower lines, and misusing your power are mandatory), she ended being a stud in every way possible. As Larry put it, she couldn't even be fired because she was the best looking employee they had. 

She was showered with compliments, hit on constantly, and was asked on dates – all until she ticks off Marla. Although they get into their own "chicken fight" later on in the episode, I feel like any form of jealousy directed towards her, for a change, is welcomed by Megan. 

And should be, seeing as how as soon as she gets home, she can't even tell her family what she did over the weekend before Peter springs out of his seat to play the show off the air. 

She is just a bit too gullible though, huh? 

It enhances my life to know how your life is going!

Peter

Peter got his fair share of strife as well though, when his own suggestion for Cleveland to monetize his talent to talk people off the ledge leads to his "fourth best friend" becoming his wife's therapist. 

Lois was understandably hesitant at first, but she needs someone besides her blissfully ignorant husband to talk to – so she gives in. And I'm sure she's happy she did.

Peter: Alright, lets dope her up good -- get that mouth off her.
Cleveland: No Peter! The problem is you!

What Cleveland and Lois were saying about Peter's contributions and and lack of attentiveness are obviously correct, but knowing Peter, Lois definitely went about changing her husband the wrong way. 

You don't bore him with mundane chores, and you definitely don't ruin his favorite past-time.

Peter: No, you're not supposed to hit it into the water.
Lois: But you hit it into the water.
Peter: I know I hit it into the water.
Lois: But why do they have water if you're not supposed to hit it there.
Peter: Because it's fun! We're having fun!

That bit seemed like it was ripped right out of an Everybody Loves Raymond episode.

So in the end, Peter still gets what he wants, and gets to remain a kid. However, maybe the problem isn't that Peter doesn't do enough, maybe it's that Lois does too much. She puts too much pressure on herself – but I doubt she'll realize that as she's waiting for the green shirt to spin by for that lucky fifth time. 

Peter wins because he's a sociopath, just like the Mayor, and can remain guilt-free.

Peter: Well, I am off to try and get out of this conversation!
Lois: Peter, what did you do?
Peter: He was slightly inconveniencing me and Joe, so we threatened to destroy his family.

Tonight's episode had it's fair share of enjoyable gags, and it was funny seeing Meg in a different light, only for her to be brought (harshly) back down to reality by Peter. That "Larry" character also came through with a Homeland reference, on top of the numerous other terrorist/airport security jokes the writers managed to sprinkle in. 

How are we going to catch Abu Nasir!?

Larry

Also, as that "clue" prompted us, did any of you miss Brian?! I thought that was a clever touch, and a snide jab at all the negative feedback Brian's "death" got when it first aired. 

Watch Family Guy online and visit Family Guy quotes to relive any highlights from tonight's episode. Also, make sure to leave your own thoughts about Cleveland and his affinity for therapy and tweed down below!

Quotes of the Week: Harrison Kills, Klaus is on Guard and More!

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Is Lucious Lyon God?

No, but on the Empire Season 1 finale Lucious taunts his son to determine who is more powerful, him or God. 

Other quotes include Mindy worrying about her pregnancy body on The Mindy project, Oliver pondering becoming the next Ra's al Ghul and Rogelio touting his own ear for comedy on Jane the Virgin.

Flip around the slideshow and discover what other quotes made the cut this week and whether you're missing out on some mind-blowing new series waiting to be discovered. Hint: of course you are!

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